August 1, 2012

On Good Moments

Since I have been filling this blog with lots of business related news, I figured I would break it up a bit with some personal writing. Sometimes I work so much, and love working so much, I really don't feel like I have anything else to talk about.

But of course there are my kids. And Lucy is on my mind. She is the sweetest natured little deer. She never gets mad. Never complains. So much so that last week she had a double ear infection and a throat infection, and I had no idea she was sick. She just smiles and plays all of the time. In fact, if not for a persistent cough, I wouldn't have taken her to the doctor.

Lucy is the type of baby that just makes you feel good about life. Like if you are having a bad day, just look at Lucy, and she will give you the biggest grin! And of course when she is not smiling, you've got these squishy chipmunk cheeks to adore :) She is just a joy.

I do love being a mother. And I do like the fact that my entire identity isn't just "motherhood". Like I have a business and a few friends. Not that my life is as balanced as I would like for it to be. I would love more date nights (okay, any date nights) with my husband. I would love to feel more passionate about social issues, or even educated on current events. Tonight I was fantasizing about running. Like maybe I should take up running. For no real reason other than it sounds nice to be able to do something alone like running and the end result is a clear head and calories burned :)

I feel like for the most part I am happy with life. Grateful that I get to work everyday from home, using the gifts and talents that I have been given. Sometimes I think about the past 6 years of my married life and wonder how I got here. Arkansas. 2 kids. Small business owner. I've lost some friendships due to the changes in my own life. Some friendships that were on the verge of blossoming, and others that just couldn't stand the test of time.  I mourn the past, because I didn't appreciate those moments more.

But happily I find myself more and more often cherishing small moments of my life. Like the way Violet calls Lucy a "little cutie pie" and softly touches her sister's cheeks. Or the way Lucy lights up when Nathan comes home from work for the day. I notice with alarming similarity how much Violet reminds me of myself at her age. Only she is far more confident. Something I remember praying for when I was pregnant with her.

Anyways, sometimes I just want to write down what I am thinking.